If i come over, it means nothing
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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