A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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