I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
