is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
