i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
