Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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