Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I am mentally ready for anal.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
