omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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