I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
