She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
