Pants 0. Shit 1.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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