Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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