oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I didn't notice because vodka
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
