Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
