I looked at my own cervix.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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