he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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