My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
