just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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