My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
