Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
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