Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize