did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
