We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
