you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
