So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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