Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
