After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
How external is "for external use only"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize