she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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