Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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