My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
