She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Sext me about skeletons
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
