How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
