wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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