Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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