good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm like, not good at living.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize