White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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