I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
