i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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