and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Is Oprah even human
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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