Its about making memories worth repressing
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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