Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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