don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
