shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
