well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
