guys are only as good as the porn they watch
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
