i was born a porn star she said
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
