My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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