The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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