I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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