"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
