Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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