do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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