New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Found your dick twin last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize