She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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