are you so shy because you have an std?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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