i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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